"Too emotional" they called me,

"Too sensitive" said some,

You have to change yourself, become more logical and real,

Stop all this nonsense of constantly having to feel.

And that is when unconciously I decided, that in the world a place for myself I would now make,

Rationality and reason would govern all my feelings, no more hurt from others would I take.

I dogdged all pain with my logic growing sound,

Meditated on become straight and shut down all involvement with life around.

Hurt I was less, but alive much lesser, the smiles grew less, the stoney face grew thicker.

But inside the beating heart that wanted to dance I could not deny,

In search of finding a balance I set out on a path so dry.

I would be logical and use my emotions to help others is the pact I made,

But as much as I tried the bubbling intensity of these emotions would not fade.

On this path of dipping into myself, my guru came and found me,

As much as I resisted such a being in my life, He shook every chord that was out of key.

"Who am I? What do you want from me?" My heart cried out in pain,

"I'm breaking down, I'm loosing myself, You're driving me insane!"

So many times I decided to let go, too much hurt had been suffered by this soul too long,

But His love so deep, this faith so strong, I had to trudge along.

"You're so young, so naive, you still have a life ahead" said all those people around,

"She's lost her mind, she doesn't know what she's doing, stop flying and come back to the ground"

The screams, the cries, the resentment grew strong, even those on the path could not understand what I searched for,

So many judgements, so many false statements made, each person carrying a heavy heart.

That is when it came to me - "How long will others decide how I feel? How long will I not listen to my own soul?"

"How long will I look towards others for solace?

"How long will I deny the presence of His eternal grace?"

I broke down that day and felt the pain of not knowing engulf me, for the first time I knew what longing meant.

And that day is when something so beautiful touched me, that even now I am not sure what has been sent.

The intensity so deep, the love so pure, had I been waiting for this all my life and more?

Was the search over or had it just begun....what else was there in store?

My body and mind cried out in fatigue, "stop it, we can't take it anymore".

That is when I realized that the journey was just beginning. This was an ocean with no shore.

Take me with you, make me fly in your colours,

I long to go deeper into what it is you are,

Take my fears and bring them to light, take my sorrows and bring them joy.

I don't know where this path takes me, I have given up for you are too sweet to let go,

All I want now is to traverse in those unknown dimensions, all I want now is to know.