How big we make this one,how important we make all its problems and ideas. Today I feel so small, so insignificant, so tinyin this vast cosmos. I feel like a spec of dust so tiny, making my issues so huge that I have come to believe that my petty issues are so important to the flow of this cosmos. Today I simply feel like a bundle of issues, a bundle of problems, a bundle of things that have no end.

What am i doing is the question that ceases to go away right now. I know its answer is of no value, because actually none of us really know what we are doing.....the beauty essentially lies in just doing. But my constant web of thoughts has taken away this privelage from me. I experience its ecstasy off and on a few days.....just being, just doing.......but then just like it came it goes away. And I am once again left gasping for air, for dear life, for some breath to save me from drowning in this misery that i have created out of my self.

Today I really feel like an issue. A huge issue.......one layer over another, over another.......I am endlessly searching for that pit, that emptiness.......I feel tired and broken today.......I have no energy to fight, to resist, to talk, to cry.........I'm starting to feel this absolute futility in writing too.....like its of no use, of no value....just giving words to those thoughts, those emotions that I want out of.....that I want to be free of.........I'm tired of this inconsistency, this facade that I see all around.........I think I'm just tired.......