Tuesday, October 9, 2007

An emptiness in me today....

My whole being fills with a sadness today that empties me out drop by drop,
I feel a vast space fill my chest which feels like the void of the universe.
No tears come out, yet inside me all I do is cry,
Why do I feel this way today, why why why.

The little things we tend to dust under the mat, hitting me one by one they come,
I beg for them to stay away, yet merciless they are to me today.
The trees the same, the flowers still bloom,
Yet despair set in me, overtaken me the clouds of gloom.

Trapped in a space that doesn't let me rest,
Each day a new obstacle, a challenge, a test.
Breaking down bit by bit, I don't want to fall apart anymore,
What I knew myself to be, now not even sure .

Did I think I had grown through it all,
Today in the midst of an unstoppable free fall.
What am I to do, where am I to go, when myself am seeing like never before.
Loneliness I feel today as I for the first time open this centuries old dusty, blocked door.

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