Two days in....

So its been about two days that I've been here now. Lots of emotions, feelings, thoughts have been churning in and out of me in that time. The lifestyle here is so different....people get up at 5am in the morning, breakfast at 10am, dinner at 7pm and lots of different things to volunteer and get involved with in between.
As you walk on the muddy road from the isha home school at one end to the dhyanalinga multifaith shrine on the other, you pass the isha rejuvenation centre which is thriving with flowers and a little pond that holds fishes and frogs. As soon as you pass it the incense cannot be missed....a sudden relaxation can be felt in your body. This is where people come to treat their physical...it has massages, simple yoga techniques and caters widely to your senses. As you move further...you hit the vanaprastha and the cottages. The vanaprashta is where people who want to walk the spiritual path yet live as a married couple. The cottages is where most of the guests stay or others who choose to stay for short periods of time in the ashram. Further, you cross teh beautiful spandha hall which houses most of the programs and is beautiful in teh way it has been designed. A beautiful green lawn with trees and flowers of all kinds greets you, the pond there is again house to some interesting coloured fishes and the lotus flowers that bloom are hard to resist. As you move further, a huge coconut tree plantation can be seen....looks raw, untouched yet makes you feel you are in a tropical forest. Further, you hit the dhyanalinga shrine which houses a huge lingam, where one can sit and meditate.
This path is really slushy these days with rains coming down every so often. I watch a brahmachari on the path sitting with his hand in a large stone looking pot from which lotus's grow out. As i go closer...he is sitting with his hand in the water, lovingly allowing the fishes to eat off his fingers.
On the rigth side lie the majestic velliangiri mountains....filled with bamboo trees and lots of elephants. In fact day before night elephants tried to enter the ashram premises i was told!
As I walk down this path I usually meet alot of people....guests who are coming from the nearby coimbatore city to visit the dhyanalingam, brahmacharis clad in orange and white with glowing faces and bright smiles, people like myself....not exactly visitors anymore, but not residents either. I remember when i had come here an year back.....i had been so resistant to this place then. I had so many questions...how could people give up everything and live a brahmachari's life? Why were people staying here? Were they trying to run away from the real world? What was so special here? The little nuisances would bother me.
But that has changed now.....questions are fewer, it is easier to look at life the way it is. But as I walk i think.....one and a half months here....that's how long I've thought of staying. This place is definately not a home away from home, and nor is it supposed to be. It's a place where you come face to face with yourself in a way you never thought possible. What am i to do here in that time? How we are so used to living in future plans and certainity, that even a few days of walking in complete uncertainity is taking a toll on me....