I just got back from the ashram lunch...which is at 10:00 am here. In the ashram meals are served only twice in the day...once in the morning at 10 and then in the evening at 7. For a person like me that eats intermittently...or rather nibbles intermittently throughout the day its a difficult situation to adjust to!
The meals take place as everyone sits together on mats and eats. It is quite interesting to see all the people who are eating the same food, sitting at the same place, yet everyones eyes and body movements show the different worlds that they are living in. I see some people looking around...slightly confused on how to react to the whole environment around. They may be new to the whole place, and are coming from a world where it's rather stylish to talk around the dining table, or chat while eatin lunch....and this sombre tone with which everyone here seems to be eating is slightly perturbing. They look at the people sitting on both their sides for some reciprocation, ofcourse if the other person happens to be in the same zone as they are then a conversation begins, otherwise they go on eating in silence, looking around.
I see other people completely involved in eating their food. They sit silently and eat the food as though it too is an inevitable part of life. But one must be careful not to interpret how they feel inside by their facial reactions. Though they may look bland and lost in their food, they are actually relishing each bite and absorbed in the beautiful, thoughtless yet intense process of eating.
There are still others like me who are not sure where they fit in yet....they are the ones testing the waters and giving it their best shot. These ones like me are fiddling with both....sometimes looking around to observe others...to observe the smiles, the friendly glances, the involvement in what they are doing whether serving or eating. And sometimes busy in the food that has been served to them, sometimes feeling lucky to be sitting here. It is with this thought that I get up and leave the dining room thinking.....how to reach that state of such intense silence within oneself.....what does it take?
2 comments:
exactly like the inner turmoil which is often masked by the face..
so much moving inside, yet nothing comes on the surface..
still searching, still looking..but for what, but for what
I distinctly remember how once during my intial visits to the ashram, i was so excited abt this whole isha thing and i went there to the dining chattering. All that was needed to stun me into silence was one simple gesture from a swami! I am ROTFL thinking about it now! :D
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