I never knew this within myself before.....I never knew how much baggage I was carrying from my past, how many people I have not forgiven for the hurt they have caused in me. I always thought I forgave easily, that even when people did injustice with me I could put up a smiling face with them afterwards and thought that I had moved on. But today I am engulfed with this huge feeling within myself, one I have not known within myself before....of unforgiveness, of not being able to forgive those who have hurt me so deeply, those that did me wrong, those that made judgements and remarks about me that were untrue, those that thought low of me, those that could not understand me, or misinterpreted what I said, those that said things to me that broke me, those that could just not understand me, understand what I needed. I feel an immense sense of anger, an immense hatred towards those people. I feel an immense feeling of injustice done towards me, I feel so misunderstood by them, which causes a deep feeling of helplessness. I am not sure how to cope with this feeling as it brings up so much anger and helplessness within, which I am not sure what to do about, not sure how to deal with. I am not being able to forgive today, and am starting to realize that in doing that I have made myself a victim of circumstances, I have trapped myself in a cage of my own making, I have let others guide my feelings and directions, I have let others cause me to become helpless.....the answer, the freedom lies in this realization.....but for now I simply observe this emotion....this emotion that seems to be lieing within untouched for so long.....this emotion causing pain that I never understood before...